Nikki Glaser Reveals the Savage Jokes She Cut From 2026 Golden Globes

Sydney Sweeney’s latest film project was almost a punchline during Nikki Glaser’s 2026 Golden Globes hosting gig.

Glaser, 41, revealed some of the jokes that she cut from her lineup at the Sunday, January 11, awards show during a Tuesday, January 13, appearance on SiriusXM’s The Howard Stern Show, including a jab at Sweeney’s November 2025 box office bomb, Christy.

“People just aren’t going to the theaters to see things, and if you don’t believe me: There was a movie this year where Sydney Sweeney played a lesbian who just bounced around in tiny shorts for two hours, and it made $14,” Glaser joked to Stern, 72.

The Christy Martin biopic earned $1.3 million in its opening weekend, with Box Office Mojo classifying it as one of the top 12 worst openings for a new release that opened on more than 2,000 screens.

Explaining why she opted to cut the joke from the Golden Globes, the comedian said, “Audiences just didn’t like it. It just wasn’t killing as hard as all of the other stuff. And [Sweeney] wasn’t gonna be there, and it’s a joke you have to do at the top of the show, and it’s like, we’re bringing someone into the show that’s not even here.”

That wasn’t the only joke Glaser scrapped from her set. Keep scrolling to see other hilarious jabs that didn’t make it to the live awards show:

Best and Worst of the 2026 Golden Globes: Nikki Glaser’s OMG Jokes and More

AI Actress Tilly Norwood

Glaser cut not one, but two jokes about Tilly Norwood, the AI actress who caused a stir in Hollywood after a report suggested that talent agencies wanted to hire her.

“Everyone’s concerned about AI. Tilly Norwood is the first star to be completely generated by AI, and somehow has still been sexually assaulted by three different studio execs,” she joked before explaining her decision to cut the line. “That was great, but that one we had to take out. We had another one about the Epstein list, and we were like, there’s too much sexual assault going on, so we had to lose that.”

Telling Stern the second Tilly Norwood joke, Glaser said, “I love that they made a fake actress, but they still couldn’t not be creepy about it. ‘OK, what if she’s 18, but looks 14, but with eyes that say, ‘I do anal?'”

‘Sexiest Man Alive’ Jonathan Bailey

A joke about Wicked star Jonathan Bailey was also cut because he didn’t attend the awards show.

“Jonathan Bailey is here. Jonathan is the first openly gay man to be named the Sexiest Man Alive by PEOPLE Magazine,” she said. “And at first I was like, ‘Do we really need to say ‘openly?’ And then I looked at a list of past winners, and I was like, ‘Oh yeah, we do.'”

Julia Roberts’ ‘After the Hunt’

Glaser also cut a joke about Julia Roberts because audiences didn’t approve when she tested it out at clubs before the awards show.

“I literally thought I was gonna be tar and feathered after the show because the audience turned on me so hard,” she recalled before sharing the quip she had in mind. “Julia Roberts is nominated for After the Hunt. I don’t know what it’s about, but I’m assuming the hunt was to find someone who has seen it.”

Jean Smart’s ‘Real’ Name

Glaser said she cut a quip about Jean Smart, who was nominated for her comedy, Hacks.

“Some people have stage names like Hacks star Jean Smart, whose real name is Corduroy Dumbass,” she joked.

Brad Pitt’s Driving Skills

Glaser scrapped a lengthy joke about F1 star Brad Pitt’s driving skills.

“Brad Pitt is nominated for his role in F1 tonight,” she told Stern. “See, that’s what I love about Hollywood. When a man turns 60, he gets to play a racecar driver. Meanwhile, after 35, every role for a woman is a tired mom who hates her life. And Brad, you were so good enough when I was almost convinced that you’ve driven yourself somewhere in the last 30 years. But Brad did a lot of his own driving in the movie. And Brad, I don’t want to embarrass you, but your blinker was on the whole time there.”

Even More Jokes About Sean Penn

Glaser told Stern that she cut a few jabs at Sean Penn, despite the actor being her favorite target to discuss in her monologue.

“Sean Penn is nominated tonight, I’m assuming for Best Neck Veins?” she initially planned to say at the Golden Globes. “Sean Penn is here, looking like the defiant last tree standing in a rainforest.”

Telling another joke about Penn, 65, Glaser said, “Amanda Seyfried is nominated for both film and TV tonight. Not to be outdone, Sean Penn is nominated in both hickory smoked and mesquite flavors. Two of the hardest working actors are here tonight: Sean Penn’s lower eyelids. Give it up for them.”

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Glaser also joked about Leonardo DiCaprio in another quip about Penn.

“Sean Penn, Benicio del Toro, and Leonardo DiCaprio are all here tonight for the category ‘Least Eyes.'” she said. “Leo, why are you always squinting? I mean, I assume it’s to read your girlfriend’s ID, just making sure that the year starts with a two.”

There was one joke about Penn that Glaser opted to tell at the Golden Globes, although she admitted to Stern that she was nervous about telling it and asked multiple people for advice before including it in her monologue.

“Sean Penn, you’re such an original. Everyone in this town is obsessed with looking younger, meanwhile, Sean Penn is like, ‘What if I slowly morph into a sexy leather handbag?’” she said on Sunday.

“I thought, ‘What is it gonna do in the room?’ If he makes a face, everyone in the room is not gonna laugh, even if it is funny,” she told Stern of her fears, adding that she sought approval from Jimmy Kimmel and David Spade, who both said the joke would be OK.